Wednesday, March 9, 2011

The things you miss...

See that picture? Do you know what it was supposed to be? While I was cleaning the master bathroom last Friday I heard the crash of the trash truck going by. When I turned to look I saw that George was very concerned with the truck outside. He was sitting in the window as straight as could be ears forward watching every move the truck made. With the dark room and the light outside all you could make out was his silhouette. It was a perfect picture opportunity. But my camera was I snuck quietly from the room to go grab the camera and come back up for the shot...and this is where it all fell apart.

Right off the foot of the stairs is our office. Glancing in I could see an error message of some sort on my laptop, so I went in to take care of that "real quick" then once I was at the laptop I checked Facebook and caught up on my notifications there then I had an email to answer then I remembered I had come downstairs for something what was it again? So I wandered back out into the hallway...what was it? The vacuum? No, it was upstairs...clean drinking glasses for the bathroom? No...I had already done that...hmm....then I remembered! My camera!

I grabbed my little camera from my purse and turned to head upstairs where I was greeted by George, who was coming downstairs to see what I was doing. Argh! Missed it! And it was totally my fault. And this happens all the time.

I am easily distracted. I don't ever try to hide that fact. It is part of who I am. And sometimes it's a really great thing. I have seen things and done things because I noticed something in my wanderings that I would have otherwise missed. I am also pretty easy going and so the delays and distractions of life don't generally bother me. Sometimes they do, everyone has those days, but usually I can take things pretty much in stride and try to find some reason or something interesting that happened because of the delay.

But the contradiction is that I am also a fairly competitive person and I am a person who likes to accomplish things. Those more driven sides to my personality get drowned out by the more laid back aspects. And then I get frustrated. I look back at my day and see that I haven't done anything with it...and I am not happy about that. Starting the day I will have these grand plans but then this happens...or that...or the other thing...and before I know it hours have passed and I have nothing to show for it.

I have been writing more, I actually have a children's story ready to submit to an agent to try and get it published. I have done about half of the leg work to make this happen and then I just stopped. I am trying to figure out why that is. What is it that is keeping me from finishing this task? Then Saturday driving with Brent talking about what ever it was we were talking about he hit the nail on the head...."You are writing now. Until you get bored with that and move on to the next thing that catches your eye." And he is right. That's my way. I will do something for awhile. Do it fairly hard core. Then I am done. Bored now. Ready to move on...and I think that not sending in the story is the scared part of me trying not to repeat the process. If I do send it in, if I do get it published, then am I a writer now? Does that mean I will stop liking it soon?

It's happened with every job I've ever held. I love them the start...then I am bored and ready to move on. Am I trying to hold myself back from doing the same with writing or am I just lazy? Because that could be it too. I could just be lazy. Sending in writing to get published is hard. Rejection sucks. Why do it? But then again, why not do it? Why not see if I could actually make a go of this?

I also have a group of short stories that are for adults. It's not porn, get your mind out of the gutter, they are just adults in the stories. Brent sent me an article on an author who does strictly e-book publishing, does it all on her own, and if very successful with it. These stories would lend themselves to that very easily. So maybe...but how do I then keep it from getting boring?

And I guess the answer lies in that picture up there. What is striking to me is what it is missing. What I let slip away because I didn't focus on the task and get it done. I missed it. I don't want to look back in 20 years and think...I missed it.

So by the end of next week I will have my first story out in to the world looking for a publisher. If it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen, but it won't be because I missed it. Not this time.

Wish me luck!

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