On Second Thought...

 Okay so that's not going to happen...

I looked at my fiction numbers yesterday (you knew that I would!) just to see how close I was and if I could make up ground. 

Holy shit I was prolific last year. Some years are like that for sure, last year was a record book one. To make the numbers I did last year I would basically have to write a new piece almost every day until the end of the year. 

Which, I mean, I love a challenge, you know that I do, but new fiction for that many days? Basically I would be looking at needing to write 30 fiction pieces in 39 days remaining (taking away vacation days and days I've already got a piece due to Dana) and with the state of the world, that's asking a lot from my muse. Who is, frankly, tired. The fact that I've basically been relying on the things I have been writing for Dana for new pieces for the blog this year shows that. 

Which, of course, makes me wonder what I am going to do next year. 

It's going to be a shit year. Either spent trying to ignore all but the most pressing things coming from Washington, or getting gut punched every few days with more batshittery, like the first go round. 

I don't know what it's going to be except bad. And I don't know how that is going to affect my desire to write let alone my capacity. And I know that that is not important to anyone but me. 

And of course as I write this part of my brain is trying to talk me into trying. Like Brent sent me a list of 9 children's Christmas story ideas this week. Stories for kids to write, to be clear. I told him even though he was joking one of them would probably end up a Krampus story, he told me that he was sure I could "Denisefy" them all. So I mean, there's a patch of potentials, and I do have a website I've used to get ideas as well...

But that would mean that I wouldn't be writing nonfiction, most likely. And I know that my brain is going to be buzzing with things I need to clear out so shouldn't I make sure I have time for that?

And 30 (33 if you count what I need to send to Dana) is a lot. Anything in November and December is a lot right? Like that was part of the challenge of NaNo, not so challenging anymore since they are allowing you to use AI, but in the old days when we were expect to write our own works, it always seemed like a good idea until November actually got rolling and pre-Christmas stuff started, and Thanksgiving hit full swing and...

I mean, sure, I always completed it when I did it but...

Thirty three new fiction pieces by the end of the year is a lot!

I'm not going to do it...

I'm totally going to do it, aren't I?