"Cooking or sacrificing? I mean, that's pretty burnt."
"Don't yuck my yum!"
"Okay, fair enough. You enjoy your sweet little charcoal brick."
"Stop it you two! Okay, scary story time! Who wants to go first?"
"Oh! I've got one about these very woods."
"Then clearly you get to go first."
"Did you notice how we walked through a perfectly lovely meadow before we got here to make camp? It's flat and open and would be perfect to put tents, but NOBODY ever camps there. Do you know why?"
"Because it's too close to the parking lot? I mean it's barely in the woods at all?"
"No." she glared at the interruption, "it's because it's haunted."
"Haunted? By what?"
"Nobody really knows. No trees ever grow there. Never have. And years ago a shepard decided to use it to feed his sheep, one night he and the entire flock just disappeared. No trace."
"They didn't just go home? Back to the paddock?"
She sighed, "I'm sure people would have checked there. No, they just disappeared. But that's not all."
"It never is."
"There was a little girl and her dog who disappeared as well."
"Oh that's really sad."
"It was. Everyone looked for her. They did a grid search of the whole woods and never found a trace of either of them. But then, five years later, she just showed up again. Walked right in the front door of her house. And she hadn't aged a single day."
"Oh that is creepy! Did she say where she was?"
"She never said another word. Ever."
"What happened to the dog?"
"What?"
"The dog. You said a girl and her dog. She came back, what happened to the dog?"
"I don't know. Why would I know that?"
"You knew what happened to the girl."
"Of course I knew what happened to the girl. The girl coming back was the whole point of the story! That's what makes it a scary story!"
"Doesn't her coming back make it a happy story?"
"No! The fact that she was gone for five years but didn't age at all makes it creepy."
"Hunh. So do you think whatever took the sheep took the dog to help herd them? Like they were starting an agricultural society so they took a sheepherder and his flock then took a dog? Like if we put some cows out there maybe they would disappear too."
"Oh my god...Okay, I'm done. Who's next? Good luck telling your scary story with this one here!"
"It's not my fault I can just reason these things out."
"Reason, sure, like the sheep and the dog were abducted by something trying to start a new agricultural society. That's reason."
"Well, you have to admit it's not really all that scary either."
"Fine! You think you have a better story? You try."
"Okay. This one happened right here in these very woods as well. In fact it happened right where we are sitting. One night, under a sky full of stars a young woman burned her marshmallow beyond all recognition...AND THEN SHE ATE IT!"
She tried not to laugh and failed. "Oh fuck you..."
"Sorry I ruined your story like you ruined that marshmallow. I promise if you tell another one I'll keep my mouth shut."
"I don't have another one. But you can make it up to me by making me another s'more."
"I KNEW you didn't want it that burnt!"
"Shut up and toast me a marshmallow..."
(Where this came from: There is a meadow in Croatia that has these two stories attached to it... I heard them from the worst story teller and it made me think of this, but instead of it being a bad storyteller I made it a bad story listener)
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