Good For the Ego...

I got hit on today. Not like maybe they were hitting on me, for sure hit on. 

I stopped by the grocery store after getting my hair done. When I was loading my groceries into the car someone drove by me. Then as I was returning the cart they were backing down the row. I thought to myself, you're in my way here, figure out where you are going. Then they pulled in to the space next to where I was parked. They pulled in crooked and I thought, Dude, you are the one that gives BMW drivers a bad name. 

Then he got out of the car. 

Him: "Excuse me?"

Me: *thinking oh he wants to ask about the car, BMW guy curious about the electric SUV BMW I'm driving.* "Yes?"

Then he looks at me, looks at his feet, puts his hands in his jacket pocket then looks up at me again.

Him: "I just wanted to tell you that you are really pretty. Like really gorgeous."

Me: "Thank you." *And taking a step back toward the car*

Him: "I was just wondering if I could get your phone number?"

Me: "Well, it would make my husband really mad if I gave it to you, but thank you."

Him: "Oh, well, I had to try. You really are very pretty."

Then he got back into his car and left. 

It was sweet. He was in his mid 20s and I didn't bother telling him how old I was. Who knows, maybe he is into that sort of thing, or maybe too good mannered to say, "You're really pretty...oh wait! Now that I see you up close I just realized you're really old!" 

I came home and told Brent how lucky he is to be married to someone so hot. He agreed.

It was sweet. Partly because though he stalked me in the parking lot, pulled into a space near me, and tried to get my phone number none of it came across as threatening. He respected my space. Most importantly he respected my no. And this is what a lot of guys have a hard time with. The whole "You can't even give a woman a compliment anymore" brigade. You can. You totally can. You can tell a stranger they are pretty. You can even ask one out on a date, or for their phone number. You just have to not be pushy or creepy or belligerent. And you have to understand that the answer could very well be no. 

The other part that made me think is that I automatically mentioned my husband. Even though he wasn't coming across as a creepy. My experience with men over the years lets me know that a lot of them won't take your no. But they will take a leave "my woman" alone from a man. I've even had men apologize to Brent when they've complimented me not realizing we were together. "Oh I'm sorry, if I had known she was with you..." What? If you had known I was with him I would no longer be pretty? What? 

But because of that I'm always pretty quick to make sure I mention a husband. I've done it on business trips, in hotel bars. I've done it on flights. I've done it for the past almost 40 years. Thanks, my husband picked this outfit. Thanks, my husband really likes my hair like this too. Thanks, but my husband is sitting there and will be back in a minute.

It's patriarchal bullshit, but I still use it as an easy button. 

I'm not sure you, strange man, will listen to me say no so I will add my husband's voice to my own and then you'll listen. 

Even though out of the two of us, I'm the one you need to fucking listen to. Not just because it's me you're talking to not him, but because I am the one who would fuck your shit up if you crossed a line.

She may be really pretty...but she's also really mean...

But this kid was sweet. As Brent said you have to shoot your shot sometimes. And he did. And it made me feel good about myself when my thyroid weight has been making me feel less than attractive lately. So he did a good deed for an old woman and I hope he gets good karma points for that.