Friday, April 13, 2018

Perfect Timing...

She had been waiting for this moment, this exact moment, for years. Not an exaggeration, it had been years. Over a decade. Almost two decades. For this exact moment. He put his hands gently on each side of her face and pulled her to him...

It had been third grade when they met. He had transferred to her elementary school partway through the year. She always felt so badly for kids who came in when the school year was already underway. They had to stand at the front of the class and be introduced and say where they were from. Everyone staring at them. Trying to decide in that few moments if they were going to fit in or not. Were they coming from across town or across the country? Were they wearing the right clothes? Did they have a funny accent? Were they uncomfortable or relaxed? A lot of decisions were made in that moment.

For instance, she decided right then and there that she loved him.

She wasn't sure what it was about him that started that instant longing in her 8 year old heart but it was deep and true and had lasted. Of course there wasn't much she could do about it then. Boys and girls were still almost separate species in the 3rd grade. There was very little mixing unless they were forced to. But she did her best to let him know that she loved him. She gave him two pieces of candy in his Valentine's Day Card instead of the one she gave everyone else. She picked him first anytime she was the captain of a team in PE. She laughed at all of his jokes. She really felt like she had done all she could.

By the time they made it to middle school and the boys and girls had started to realize that maybe blending was a little more interesting than staying separate she felt like it might be time to make her move. The Sadie Hawkins Day dance was coming and she would ask him. They were friends by now. All of that picking and laughing had done its job. He liked her. She knew it. He would talk to her in the halls and they were lab partners in science class. Years of loving him were going to come to fruition at this dance. Her first dance. Her first boyfriend. She doodled hearts in her notebook just thinking about it.

"Hey, you know the dance coming up?"

Wait, was he going to ask her? It was girls ask boys but he was going to ask her? Oh my gosh, just to make sure that it happened, he was going to break the rules and ask her!

"Yeah..."

"Lori asked me to go and I don't know what to wear. You're a girl, can you help me out?"

What? Lori? Lori had asked him and he had said yes? What? He didn't even TALK to Lori! Lori hadn't even gone to the their elementary school so she didn't even KNOW him. Lori? Lori? Really? And you want my help picking out an outfit? What?

"Yeah, sure. No problem."

"Hey, who are you going to ask?"

"Oh, I don't know. Dances aren't really my thing."

He smiled at her, "It's our first dance, how do you know? I know! You should ask Jeremy!"

Jeremy? Really? Jeremy? That's who he thought was a good match for her? Jeremy?

"Yeah, maybe. I'll see."

Jeremy had said yes. He was a really nice boy and they had fun. Really. She even kept smiling when Julie ran over to tell her that Zeke and Lori had kissed and were now going around together. The middle school equivalent of getting engaged. Great. Really great. Lori's first dance. Lori's first boyfriend. Lori's hearts. Great.

Of course as most middle school romances go it didn't last long. Neither did the time with Lisa. Or Rebbie, or Julie. Though Lori stopped speaking to Julie for a full month over it. She had dated Zeke first, after all, but that didn't last when Lori realized she would have to stop speaking to half of the class if she didn't speak to anyone Zeke dated.

He dated a lot. You would have thought that would have cooled her ador for him. But it didn't. Instead she listened to him talk about his latest girlfriend. Endlessly. He was always genuinely shocked that he was going around with someone new. It was like relationships just happened to him. She tried to tell him that he didn't have to date anyone. He could just hang out with his friends. And even if he did take a girl to the movies he didn't have to try and make it exclusive.

Which worked. Sort of. By the time they reached high school he no longer felt the need to go steady with anyone. He dated who he wanted but never for long. He was also very busy with sports and student body government. She was class president and he was her vice president. Freshman year, sophomore year, junior year. They ran that school. She lettered in track and he lettered in soccer. He sang in the school choir and she got the lead in the school plays. And they were still such good friends. He talked to her about everything. She listened and loved him.

 And then at the end of their junior year he suggested that they switch student body government roles for senior year. It would look better on his college applications if he had one year as class president. She smiled and thought hard about it. She loved him. She wanted him to get in to a great college. She wanted him to be a success. They talked about it a lot. And then she said, "Go ahead and run for President. I won't be mad."

He was thrilled.

Until he thought about what she said. "Wait, are you going to still run as well?"

"Yeah. We can both run and who ever gets it, gets it."

"But if you run, I won't win."

"You don't know that. You're as popular as I am. You've been VP for three years. A lot of people might think it would be more fair if you were president for a year."

"But if we both run for president one of us loses. And they don't have any position. You have to run for VP so we both have a title."

"If it happens that way, it happens that way."

"But college applications will look at that."

"I have good grades. I have a ton of extracurriculars. And I'm probably just going in state.  It won't make a difference."

"So you aren't worried about losing, but what about me? If you run against me, I might lose! I need that extra boost."

"No, you don't. Not really. You could get a soccer scholarship to almost any college you want to. You have decent grades. You have the same amount of extracurriculars as I do. You have nothing to worry about. You'll be fine."

"So you are really going to run against me?"

"Technically, I'm the incumbent so you are running against me."

Their senior year they barely spoke.

She was busy with student body government, yearbook, the senior play and college planning. It turned out that she got offered a scholarship to an out of state school after all and so her plans changed. He got a free ride to his first choice school as well, but he couldn't swallow his pride to tell her that she had been right, he hadn't had anything to worry about. He was a bit of a jerk. But she still loved him.

When they would come home from school on breaks they saw each other at parties. They would smile at each other and drift closer and closer to each other through the night. Like an asteroid in a gravitational pull. She knew one day she would crash in to him. And he would go back to being her best friend. She knew this as surely as she knew she loved him that first day in third grade.

It didn't happen until their last year in college.

When her mother died he came to the house. Tears streaming down his face. He held her while they both cried. They talked about how unfair it was. How cancer was fucking bitch. How life would never be okay again. He apologized for being a jerk in high school.

"I was so insecure. You were always so perfect and I felt like I was running as fast as I could to just keep up. I always compared myself to you and came up short. And so I was a jerk. I made my issue your problem. I have missed you so much."

She gave him a small smile. "I missed you too."

She broke up with her college boyfriend a few months later. What had seemed like such a great relationship now seemed like a cheap substitute for what she really wanted. Nobody was ever going to be Zeke and she just accepted it. She decided to finally tell him how she felt. She called him.

"Oh my god! It's just like when we were kids. I was literally just going to call you."

She smiled. And the smile froze on her face as he told her he was getting engaged. Understanding how short life really is and seeing how much time they had lost being mad at each other had made him realize that he needed to grab every opportunity he could right now. Not later.

 His girlfriend hadn't agreed.

So he came home broken hearted. And they shared their grief. Over her mother. Over his girlfriend. Over the lost years of friendship. And they got better. The sun kept coming up. Time passed. They both healed. And their friendship remained. They both found work in their hometown. They saw each other all the time. They double dated when they could.

And now this.

Their 10 Year Reunion.

She had helped plan it. The entire student body government from their senior year got together over a few months and put it all together. Luckily for them Lori had grown up to be an event coordinator. It was a great party. They laughed, they danced, they drank.

They were voted "Class Couple" even though they had never dated. When giving the award Lori read a note that came with one of the votes, "This was written in over and over, you never thought of just Zeke or just Danielle. It was always ZekeandDanielle. So even though you weren't technically a couple, you were a couple."

They had laughed and taken the award. She had said thank you and then Zeke made a speech.

"Danielle has been my best friend for my entire life. Or at least it feels that way. She has been my support, my driver, my shoulder to cry on and my kick in the ass when I need it. She forgave me when she didn't have to. She is my best friend. Thank you for recognizing that."

"JUST KISS HER ALREADY!"

They laughed, "Who said that?"

"WE ALL DID!"

They laughed again. Then Zeke looked at her. Really looked at her. She felt the shift right then.

She had been waiting for that look. This was the moment. Finally.

He stepped toward her and took her face in his hands. He pulled her slowly to him and softly kissed her. She had been waiting for this moment for years. This exact moment.

And it was awful.

He was a terrible kisser.

She'd have to fix that.


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