Thursday, July 13, 2017
"Did you seriously just double dip that chip?" Lori glared at Pete.
"I turned it. That's totally fine. It was a dip, bite, turn and dip."
"That is not fine, that's a double dip. That's not okay. Tell him that it's not okay." Lori made her case to the table.
"I think the turn and dip is probably okay, but I prefer the break off and dip in pieces." Carl shrugged.
"One dip per chip. You don't need every square inch of chip covered. One dip." Janine declared.
"Wait, so yours isn't a germ thing, it's a greed thing?" Lori asked.
"Not greed. Flavor balance. The chip needs to be appreciated for its chipness. To use it just as a dip delivery vehicle you might as well get a spoon."
"Okay...so we have a no way from me, a you can but you should do it differently from Carl and a foodie choice from Janine. What do you say?"
Amy shrugged her shoulders, "Didn't Myth Busters do a whole episode on this? Like they measured the germ level and decided that double dipping, even without a turn, was no big deal?"
"Not the point. Just because Myth Busters could blow it up afterward doesn't mean it's not gross. Aren't you grossed out by it?"
Amy shook her head, "Nope. Why should I be? We've all had our fingers all over the chips and the salsa all night and I only know when I last washed my own hands, not the rest of you. And even if you did wash your hands right when you got here, like I did, you've touched each other, the table, your glasses, your jeans, your arms, pretty much all over the place. Then you grabbed a chip brushing against the chips next to it and then possibly turned the chip to get the best possible dipping surface and putting the finger touched side in the bowl of salsa."
"Okay, now I'm grossed out by the whole idea of finger foods." Lori pushed her plate away.
"Why? That's my point. You've been sharing germs with us all along. It's not gross. It's actually good for you. People who are too worried about germs and bust out the hand sanitizer constantly have weak immune systems. Look it up."
Carl started laughing, "This is about the toothbrush isn't it?"
Amy shot him a dirty look, "No. It's about the chips. And how some people are really weird about germs when they are already covered in them and are FINE."
"Yeah, it's totally about the toothbrush."
"Okay, what about the toothbrush? Now I'm curious." Janine broke in.
"Yeah, me too. Forget the chips, now I want to know about toothbrushes." Pete added.
"If it's gross I don't want to hear about it." Lori shook her head.
"Fine! Thanks, Carl, I'll now share with the group."
"Oh, that was going to happen eventually anyway." Carl smiled.
"Whatever. Steve and I are not dating anymore."
"Wait? What? You just started getting serious, right? What happened?" Now Lori was interested.
"I asked if I could use his toothbrush and he freaked out."
"Oh gross. You did not!" Lori was back to being disgusted.
"It's not that big of a deal."
"Apparently it is." Pete nodded toward Lori whose face was tightly scrunched.
"Okay, just like you are grossed about the thought of germs when it doesn't really happen you are grossed out about using someone's toothbrush when we had just had our tongues in each other's mouths. He had literally touched my teeth with his tongue. Among other body parts. We had sweated on and in each other. We had kissed and licked and...well it was really good sex, okay?
So we are pretty much wallowing in each other's DNA, I want to take a shower and freshen up before we go grab some dinner and to be POLITE I ask if he minds if I use his toothbrush and he FREAKED out about how disgusting it was. When I tried to explain that it wasn't he just kept, well making that face." Amy pointed at Lori.
Janine snort laughed.
"So anyway, it ended up being a big fight we aren't dating anymore."
"And..." Carl waved his hand at her.
"And I might have licked his toothbrush as I was leaving anyway."
The friends all laughed. Except Lori. Who just pushed the chips farther away.