I am in a really foul mood today. Started yesterday and has just built. There are reasons. Racism. Ignorance. Injustice. Politics. Propaganda. Big things. And other reasons, big to me. Helplessness to make something happen for someone I love. Unfairness. Ignorance there too, I believe. And biological reasons. Hormones and lack of sleep.
All of it adds together to put me in a bad mood.
I hate being in a bad mood which just adds to it.
It gets all cyclical. I don't like being pissed off so I am even more pissed off.
I have very little patience for people so the people who might be able to cheer me up are ignored so I don't unleash my acid tongue on them.
Because when I am in a bad mood I can bring you along with me. And I don't want to do that. Because who wants to be in a bad mood and worse yet who wants to be responsible for someone's bad mood?
But you know that mad that you get when everything else just makes you madder? When the world is conspiring against you to make you furious? That's the mad I'm at now.
My conditioner bottle broke. The twist top just twisted right off. But not all the way off, just halfway. Enough that I can't get conditioner out of the bottle without death defying maneuvers. And normally this would be met with an "Oh well, I need to buy an empty bottle to put this in so I can use it up." But this morning it was met with a long string of colorful and creatively grouped swear words.
The guy who raced over to the hamstring machine ahead of me at the gym got a glare, and then another one when because he dashed in front of me and I had to move on to a different machine to keep working TWO MORE people got in ahead of me on the hamstring machine. And what the fuck, people, for ages I've been the only one to use that machine. What is with all the hamstring love now?Nobody works their hamstring. It's a forgotten muscle. Go back to your quads and leave the hamstrings for those of us with balance issues....
I did put on my best polite manners for the old guy who wanted to chat. Even though I had to look around a bit when he greeted me with, "Hello there, young lady, how are you today?" Oh yeah...to the 75 year old I'm a young lady. But I don't chat during workouts so he got 5 minutes of polite conversation and an, "Enjoy your workout" from me and I count it as a win. Just so you know he has been ignoring his upper body workouts, doing more cardio and keeping up with his yoga, but really neglecting the upper body. He is English, doesn't have an accent any more because he's been here so long, but he's English. Do I watch football? Not a lot of Americans do, but he played when he was younger. Proper football, not American football. He has had good luck with his knees which is nice because he just doesn't want to have to have a replacement. He also greeted about 4 other people in that time frame so I'm guessing now that I've made his RADAR I will not be off the hook for more meet and greets during work time. Joy.
And don't even get me started on the idiots on the road. People should learn how to fucking drive or at least get out of my fucking way and if you can't do the fucking speed limit on this fucking road then take a different one. It's fortyfuckingfive not thirty you fucking slow ass Subaru driver! Or you know...something like that...
The Starbucks website is so poorly designed I can't even with it right now...
I want to dive face first in a plate of brownies but I also would like to lose more than a halfafuckingpound in a fuckingmonth so that doesn't seem like a good fucking idea now fucking does it?
And...well...there you have it. I'm in a bad mood.
Good fucking luck to all of us...we're going to need it.