My parents took one piece of pre-marital advice they received and applied it consistently through their marriage. It was "Never yell at each other or your children unless the house is on fire." So I was never yelled at by my parents. Ever. And if we kids yelled at each other we got in trouble. So I am completely ill equipped to be yelled at. I have no coping mechanism. I have friends who grew up in yelly houses and they just don't even notice. Me? I am pissed and ready for a fight or terrified and in tears as soon as you yell. Depending on the circumstances. There is no calm response.
Not to go all RainMan on you but...I'm an excellent driver. I am one of those people that actually turns in to the near lane and then signals to move to the far lane if that's where I need to be instead of just turning in to the far lane. I use my turn signals to change lanes. I even use them in parking lots for goodness sake. I am that lone car doing 35 on Bethany (the locals know) and getting passed or tailgated by the people around me. I don't use my phone unless I have my headphones in, and even then it's rare. I don't text while I drive. And I always drive the speed limit through residential neighborhoods. Hell half the time I go under because we have a lot of kids out and about.
So today I am on my way to a dentist appointment and driving through our neighborhood. There is a sheriff's car parked on one side of the street and the sheriff is standing in the yard of a neighbor talking to them. Well not really in the yard. She's in the yard he's kind of on the street. So I even shift a little more toward the middle of the road to give him plenty of room and as I get to him and pass him he yells "SLOW DOWN!!" and gestures at me.
OH shit! I look at my speedometer and I'm doing...25. You know, the speed limit. I look in my rear view and he's still gesturing toward me. I gave him the what the fuck hand signal then a 2 and a 5. And drove on.
Not the fuck you hand, the what the fuck hand.
But it pissed me off. First off, we have Aggressive Driver laws here. If I tailgate, cut people off, or yell at them I can get a ticket. So who the fuck are you to yell at me? Second off, seriously, who the fuck are you to yell at me? (see, instant angry)
If I hadn't been on my way to an appointment I would have stopped at the Sheriff's office right then and there and filed a complaint. I know, it really seems like it's not a big deal right? And it might not have been. Except it was. Don't fucking yell at me. And especially don't fucking yell at me when I'm not doing anything wrong!
And that's a big part of my anger. I wasn't speeding. I don't speed in residential neighborhoods. I just don't. I do speed on the rural roads and on the highway. I do so knowing full well that if I get pulled over and get a ticket that's all on me. I make that choice. Break the law, pay the fine. I am not one of those people that would bitch about getting pulled over for speeding if I was. I am also extraordinarily respectful of our law enforcement people. I was taught that you keep you hands on the wheel, answer questions when you are asked, use your most polite voice and on and on. And I have friends who are cops so I get how tough of a job it is and how most are really good people doing the whole protect and serve thing really meaning to protect and serve. So if my default response to you is respect shouldn't I expect the same in return?
So I get to the dentist's office and call the Sheriff's office instead. And you can't easily talk to anyone...dial this number for this, dial that number for that, not even a way to easily leave a message, which is really all I wanted to do. Which already frustrated this pissed me off more. I hang up and go in to get my bite adjusted and my crown shaved down (yes, the symbology there is just dripping isn't it?)
After my dentist appointment I tried to decide if it was worth complaining or not. And I was really torn. First off if I did complain and he did get talked to about it, would he then be on the lookout for me? Was I just opening myself up to getting harassed? And secondly, it really isn't that big of a deal, except for the fact that he stood out the street and yelled at me and kept gesturing at me even after I moved on down the road. So what if he already was going to be on the lookout for me? Wouldn't it be better at that point to have it on record that I complained? And then I finally decided, he shouldn't have yelled at me. If he honestly thought I was speeding he should have gotten in his car and pulled me over. Of course he would have seen I was doing the speed limit if he had done that, but still... And since I really do think he shouldn't have done the asshole maneuver not calling because I was afraid of repercussions would be wrong.
So I called. And after I hung up (giving them my name and the kind of car I was driving like a good citizen) I thought again...that was probably a mistake. So we will see if I get a ticket soon. Or get any extra attention.
Please believe I will be minding my Ps and Qs even more so.
AND DON'T EVER FUCKING YELL AT ME!