A few weeks ago I had a dream where I got a new tattoo on the inside of my wrist. The tattoo was a red gem stone wearing a cowboy hat. A ruby for my mother, Ruby, and the hat symbolizing my father, Marshall. I told Brent about it when I woke up and he said it actually sounded like a cool tattoo for me. Probably not on the inside of my wrist, but yeah, it wouldn't be bad. Having both parents represented like that and tied together as they are in my mind. Even with my Dad having passed I still think of him and Mom as a matched set.
Not an exact set, oh no. Very different people, but a matched set. They worked well together.
I've been channeling both parents the past few weeks at different times. I have to admit I am more comfortable living in my father's shoes than my mother's. Maybe because he always wore boots?
Anyway...with the trip to Hawaii coming they have both played their part in my mind. Hawaii was always my mother's dream. We heard about it all the time growing up. How she and Dad were going to go one day. It was the dream vacation. You all also know we were broke so that dream wasn't really in reach. Vacations were trips back to Iowa to visit family. Twice to Anaheim to Disneyland when the North American Christian Convention was held there. But never just straight up vacations. And Hawaii? Out of reach.
For their 50th Anniversary the kids all got together and sent them. We all pitched in what we could and got them their dream trip. And I'm glad we were able to do it. Dad's health was still good enough at the time that they were able to enjoy the vacation and check that box. But notice I said it was always my mother's dream? I have no idea what my father's dream vacation would be. He never really said. My guess is it was Hawaii, not because he had a burning desire to go there but because he had a burning desire to make my mother happy.
My dad was one of those quiet types. He believed what he believed but he didn't feel the need to force it down your throat. He was conservative. Religious. Thrifty. Solidly a family man. My mother is conservative, and will tell you about it. Religious and will pray for you. Solidly a family woman. And well...not so much on the thrifty side.
We all grew up knowing we had a predisposition for alcoholism. My mother was on the leading edge of people who truly believe it is a disease and hereditary. Pretty amazing actually, because the science backs her up now. But she always knew it. But the thing she didn't warn us about was the shopping gene. Especially "As Seen on TV" or the home shopping/QVC/infomercial strain... Seriously. That woman can buy anything off of TV and frequently does. I have a strain of it, the exercise and kitchen gadget portion. I know I have this problem so don't keep my credit card handy when watching TV. Other members of my family have it (not naming any names, they know who they are) and will buy cute bags or shoes or sparkly whatever...
So the past few weeks as I've been getting ready for our upcoming trip to Hawaii I've been shopping. I needed a new swimsuit. I didn't own one anymore. I got rid of my suit last year and just never replaced it. As you all know it's been a challenge to find something that fits right. Not too tight in the bust, not too loose every where else. I bought literally hundreds of dollars worth of swimsuits. Hundreds. And as the packages have come in I have channeled my mother. "Oh! Look! New stuff!" As I shopped online I just stopped paying attention to the prices, "This is cute!" click in the basket. Knowing that I would be returning the bulk of them made spending the money not real. In they would come, out they would go. Shop! Shop! Shop! Seems Amazon.com is pretty much the same as HSN or QVC as far as triggers go.
And then my father showed up. I have settled on two suits. One of them I got on a great sale. Both pieces cost less than the top to the other suit I am getting. And the top to the other suit is a bikini top. There isn't a ton to it. But it fits, it's cute, I like it. But do I really need two suits? Yes, I am going to be in the water every day and putting on a dry suit is more comfortable than a damp one but as soon as I have it on I will be getting in the water so it won't be dry for long so really shouldn't I just stick with one? It's kind of wasteful to have two. And a bikini top? That's an awful lot of skin, young lady.
Returning some of the suits that didn't fit I got frustrated with the amount of detail I had to fill in on why I was returning them. Didn't fit wasn't enough. It had to be specific. And there were codes so you couldn't even just fill in the reason, you had to find the corresponding number for that reason. At that point my mother probably would have just given up and given the suits to someone else as a gift. Too much hassle to return them. But did I mention hundreds of dollars? So I filled out the paperwork. And as I looked for the right code I could feel the grin start to spread across my face as I thought about what my father would have said to the sales clerk when she asked, "How did they fit?" He would have said I looked like Spring in them. Busting out all over.
I am my parent's child. I will tell you what I think but not expect you to follow me. And once I realize all you want to do is fight I will stop talking. I like new things, but shopping makes me uncomfortable. I love my husband and son and hope they both realize that and never doubt it. Even when I am buying hundreds of dollars worth of swimsuits that Brent will have to pay for, for a vacation C doesn't even get to go on. Hundreds.
Though to be honest, I haven't taken the tags off of the second suit yet. For right now my mother's voice is winning but it's still a little too close to call.
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